A breath is precious

I have been coughing for over 2.5 weeks now. Not just a little cough cough here or a little cough cough there. Oh no. More like , a constant hacking every 3-5 minutes. The thing that sucks is that 50% of it is me forcing myself to cough b/c it feels like I have a piece of silly putty stuck in my throat...or maybe like a hairball. The result of this constant hacking is, headaches, a sore back that felt like my kidneys are going to fall out, maybe in some cases, but of course not mine, slight incontinence...yeah, you heard me, and a negative effect on my marriage. Besides me acting like a complete and total rag, I think I'm about a hairs width from getting suffocated one night by my husband, and I suppose rightly so. I wouldn't want to listen to that shit anymore. But really, I think he's avoiding me. I know he loves me, but I think any sane person would want to stay a good distance from a constant sharp barking sound and if that wasn't enough, a completely unpleasant personality at this point.

Well, I decided that most likely I should get to a Dr, but I had a good feeling they would tell me allergies. The thing that is so weird is that I don't have congestion, no sinus pain, no runny nose, or itchy watery eyes, just a cough. I went to the Dr today and he checked me out, I asked if he thought I had TB or cancer, he looked at me like I'm an idiot and shoved me out the door with some pills and nasal spray. Huh, what? What the hell. I mean, of all those commercials out there, can't there be one for post nasal drip cough??? Just one? I mean I've tried Claritin, Zyrtec, Benadryl, Sudafed, Mucinex, Cough Suppressant, more cough medicines. Nothing is working!!!! So dear reader, hope that the samples of Allegra will help, b/c if it doesn't, I can't be in control of the insanity that will soon be arriving via special delivery on the crazy train.

Oh how we take the oh mighty breath for granted. I can't even walk my dog without wheezing, plus the poor thing is getting the bitchy end of the stick during the whole walk.

Just remember sometime, that to breathe is to live, and to breathe without coughing, is the best way to keep this already bitchy chick from finally snapping. Keep your fingers crossed that the coughing will stop soon.

Consumption Junction

Oh consumption junction, what's your function, coughin' up mucus and keepin' me awake.

So....I haven't been blessed to catch one of those nasty viruses going around *knocking on big wood*, but I thought I was getting sick a couple of weeks ago. I started to feel that tell tale heaviness in my chest, but I took the vitamins, airborne, and slept for an entire day. Luck would have it that I didn't get sick. But alas, I was not to get off totally scott free on this one, nope. Instead, I seem to have partnered up with this lovely, mucous riddled rattley ass cough. I'm sure you know the kind. It's starts with a little tickle in your throat and then that tickle keeps going, kinda, like the real deal, when someone really tickles you until you pee in your pants a little bit. Well, this is the same thing, tickle, tickle, I swallow, tickle some more, I try to refrain from coughing, dammit, tickle, tickle, SMACK. Now I have to cough and it's the long drawn out kind that keeps going and going and going. You can feel your internal temp increasing exponentially, your face gets all red and hot and then you have to leave the room.

Well this has been going on for over two weeks now. Other than that, I feel fine, but what a hassle. It happens in the morning, at work, in the evening, and worst of all, when I'm trying to fall asleep. I went to the pharmacist, and she thinks I have seasonal allergies. The problem is, not one medication for allergies is for a cough.

I'm convinced that I have TB, OG consumption. Like Val Kilmer in Tombstone. Just call me lunger.
Notice the pale sweaty skin. That's what I look like after the coughing attacks...ok, maybe I'm a little red at first, but then the pale sweatiness comes into play.

Yield Shmield

Just a quick post tonight. I just wanted to say how much I hate yield signs. I mean seriously, if I see a yield I stop, b/c if I don't and someone is coming, I'm going to get t-boned. So why not just put up a stop sign? Why? I mean it's like putting up a sign that says "well, maybe you should kind of be careful, but you don't have to if you don't want, but if something bad happens, we'll say I told you so".

Running into brick walls

I've had certain moments in the past year, where all joking aside, I'm starting to feel.....OLDER. I mean, I'm going to be honest, overall, I think I look pretty good for my age. The age odometer recently hit 35...can you even believe it. Regardless of your age, I don't even know where the time goes. But I digress.

So here are a couple of examples. I was sitting outside with my husband the other day and the wind blew my hair into my face. I noticed a little glimmer or glint of color..but upon closer inspection of my hair strands, what did I find? Three full length silver hairs (I say silver instead of gray, b/c that sounds cooler). THREE!!! So many people would just tell me whatever and to get over it b/c they've had grays since they were 18, fine, but we all measure things a certain way. My mother didn't start graying until she was in her 50's. Now on to example two, I felt a tickle in my nose and upon inspection, it was nose hair that crept out of it's allotted nasal area into the light. A nose hair? Geesh, isn't that what old men get?

Well, b/c of these revelations, I've been going through my hair, only to find more and more grays..oy vay, no No NO. I mean come on, I have dark brown hair, plus I'm way to lazy to color it. Oh, and I just noticed that my hands are looking a bit veiny and sad and old.

But I tell myself it's all about how you feel right? So as I asked my husband to hand me my glasses to type this (that's a new development too), I asked him, what is going on with the grays and such, and his response, "because you're old, like 35 you know". This coming from a man who is 41 and a half. He quickly restated "but you look 25". Thanks babe.

I guess I'm running into a brick wall, but for now, I think I might just build me a tunnel in that wall.

Something that makes me smile

It only takes very little to make me happy now, I mean considering my complete and absolute soul sucking job. That constant squeaking is like an ice pick in my ear, but the dogs are so damn cute.

Does everyone shop at Costco?

As I was going through my Flickr groups tonight, I noticed a recurring theme on the pet postings. Everyone buys their dog beds from Costco. You can always tell because they are always the same size and always have that nubby fleece on one side. Oh, and face it, no one wants to pay fifty bucks when they can buy the same thing for a twenty spot at the big "C".

So I've been going back and forth about getting Otis a new bed and then I realized two things:
1. He slips during the day on two destroyed dog beds that are nothing but husks of what they originally started out as.
and
2. He destroyed my favorite pillow in the ENTIRE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. It really did bring that living room together.

So probably no new bed yet for Mr. Stinkyfeet.

I mean if I really think about it, at least one of the two dogs would be just as happy laying on a turd. I mean the happiness quotient would be so high as if it were a Swedish memory foam temperpedic turd.

Now I'm just straying off topic. So to answer my original post title, yes, everyone in the entire US plus it's principalities does shop at Costco. Why? Because it rocks some serious shizzle.

Oh, and stand by for an upcoming post where the question everyone is wondering....what does a dogs foot smell like.

Picking a winner

Every once and awhile we get confirmation that we made the right decision. When it comes to being with my husband, I really don't need it because I get that confirmation everyday, but sometimes, I get a wow punch in the head, that I picked a real winner. Often times it's when I see his sensitivity and kindness come through, whether talking about family, or love of animals, or just the little things he does.

Tonight like a bunch of old farts, we were watching 60 Minutes during dinner. A segment came on about Americans with no healthcare or enough healthcare. There is a great organization called Remote Area Medical. This organization, on a shoe string budget (last year only 250k), offers healthcare fairs offering free medical, dental, and vision care. The organization originally started offering healthcare to third world countries, but now due to the incompetence of our government and private healthcare company greed, the services are needed in the US. So the story went on about individuals in our country are uninsured or under insured. As we watched everyday normal people, basically working poor, show up to wait twelve hours for healthcare, I could see Mike getting more and more upset, as was I. It was frustrating to see so many good people put their lives at risk because they had no insurance or couldn't afford deductibles or follow up treatments.

At the end of the segment, we were both upset, because even in our cynicism we both care. Mike got up from the table and as he walked away, I could see tears on his face. My heart swelled and my love for the 100th time in a day was confirmed. I got lucky when he decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Loving someone because of the wonderful things the do is something, but loving someone because of the man they are, well that is priceless.

I highly encourage all that can spare anything, a buck, five bucks or more, to generously give to Remote Area Medical.

Living a good life

As much as I like to complain about almost anything, I have to post at least once and awhile as a reminder that we live a pretty good life. Better than most. We have a home, good jobs (as frustrating and dull as they may be), wonderful dogs, and great friends and family. My biggest complaint as of late is the lack of time. Time to do all the great wonderful things I want to do. I want to take pictures, play with my dogs, hang with my husband, hang with my friends and even just with myself. I want time to read some good books and learn about stuff that I want to learn, not want my job wants me to learn. Sometimes, time is not on my side. Every year that I get older, time becomes more and more limited and precious. That I have to spend at least one third of my week at the office, and that the work gets me down, because I think it is hampering my creativity. I'm stuck in that common conundrum in which my work allows me the funds to be able to do those fun things that I want to do, but it is a trade off because it limits my time.

As I struggle right now about what I want to do and what I need to sacrifice, I have to remind myself, that overall, I'm better off than most.

I mean, look at the love and affection I get:














The sweetness:



























Look at the great relationship that I have:
















And all the beauty around me.














Life is pretty good.
Now I just need to find the time....maybe it's hanging out in my closet.