On the fulcrum of sickness

Maybe I'm a hypochondriac germaphobe. Could be. But let me tell you, I think I'm getting sick again. I admit that I probably do about 25 pumps of my hand sanitizer daily. I can't stop myself. And yes, I use a paper towel before touching a door handle. I see and I know those people who don't wash their hands in the bathroom and I don't want their poo germs on me, because you know what happens; poo germs on hands and then your eye itches, so you scratch your eye. Now guess what is in your eye? So after all that, I've been doing pretty good in the avoiding virus department. So I'm shocked that I have a sore throat and have the feeling of a small dwarf sitting on my chest. Where did I get these germs??? Urgh! Blast! Damn! So I've been sitting here double fisting Airborne and echinacea. So now I set here on the fulcrum of sickness. It's like a teeter totter, sick, not sick. As you can guess, I'm really pulling for the not sick. I think I'm going to start wearing a surgical mask so the virus that floats around the office from the hackers can't penetrate the fabric and infiltrate my fragile immune system.

I have to say though, it would be quite a conversation starter if I had a dwarf permanently sitting on my chest.